I was sitting in the little tea room across from the office where I used to work with a rather bored and sophisticated man. His languid glaze suddenly focused on the patina of tooth marks on my lighter.
"We have a real problem with The Contessa. She chews all our lighters and is eating a biro a day."
My companion was stunned.
"What Contessa?" Clearly imagining a faded dotty old lady, rifling through our drawers to find lighters and biros to guzzle.
When I explained that The Contessa was a Min Pin his interest evaporated in an instant.
Danny and I often giggle about this rival Contessa. She seems almost as real as the dog. Slumped in an armchair, toying with biros and gnawing a lighter. She just has to become a character in a novel one day.
Six years later, The Contessa has developed a new habit of foraging through Danny's wastepaper basket. The bin is emptied across the room and special bits of paper are removed to her bed. This is almost as unpopular as the lighter chewing phase. This morning a heard a roar from The Rat Room and spotted a small flash of red as she darted through the kitchen into the garden.
I had just opened the washing machine and discovered that a tissue had shredded and scattered like fairy confetti over every garment in the dark wash. Danny, normally a placid man, gets quite agitated about white flecks on his socks. So I followed The Contessa swiftly into the garden and hung the washing on the line, hoping that a breezy afternoon might remove the tissue scraps.
I decided to rack up a few Brownie points and create a new medlar and chilli jelly recipe before the washing was brought in at dusk. I discovered my first medlar tree a couple of days ago. The simmered medlars and chillis are now dripping through a jelly bag into a bucket in the bath. If it works, I'll post the recipe tomorrow.
Leave a reply