Dead fish stink
The only time that I can remember that Danny was really angry with me in the past was when I left a large sack of sand and cement in his car. When he had to make an emergency stop there were disastrous consequences. As you know from tales about Jalopy I view vehicles as moving storage devices. Jalopy still holds the complete decorators kit from spare rollers, to plastic wood and window putty. If you have time and patience you will find everything that you need for hanging and trimming wallpaper and even those insulated mugs that will keep a...
read moreThank you!
I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who left a comment on my last post. Yesterday was a long and stressful day but every now and then I’d log on and laugh and laugh. Danny had a busy work day but the intermittent guffaws from The Rat Room told me that he couldn’t resist checking too. Everyone knows the healing power of laughter and most of us have heard of Norman Cousins who claimed that laughed himself back to health. As you know, I’m an avid reader of The Oldie magazine. Very witty and great writing. I do miss the old...
read moreDon’t trifle with me
I’ve had a longing for the past few weeks for a 1960’s sherry trifle. One made with supermarket dry trifle sponges soaked in sherry. Then partnered with fruit and packet jelly and topped with Bird’s custard, whipped cream and flaked almonds. Intuition warbled that fresh pineapple would be good so I bought one. At the jelly section of the supermarket, Intuition reminded me that we have raspberries in the freezer and gelatine in the larder. I ignored Intuition and reached for a pack of strawberry jelly cubes. Intuition also bucked and...
read morePine needle vinegar update on the making stage
I dragged in the thoughtful gift from Anne Mary’s Caledonian pine tree and started to pull off the needles. They came off reasonably easily but they had a little brown husk on the ends that attached to the branch. As far as I could remember Robin Harford’s pine needles were green from tip to tail. So I shot upstairs to the laptop and examined his photos carefully. Not a dot of brown husk anywhere. The Sherlock Holmes in me detected that he’d probably cut the pine needles off the branch with scissors. I eventually unearthed our...
read moreThe roast that went wrong
This happened over 30 years ago when I was living in Chelsea with Smart Wife and Kind Husband. “Now Fiona I have an old friend coming up from the country for Sunday lunch. She’s a gourmet cook. So the meal has to be excellent.” Oh fatal words. Smart Wife opened the fridge door to reveal an enormous joint of beef. “I went to the expensive butcher in Tite Street. It cost a bomb but I’m sure that it will taste delicious. There’s always a better flavour with a decent sized joint.” The Sunday dawned. By this stage I’d got...
read moreJoke pasta
Having bought a very smart pasta machine, I made my first pasta last night. It was a dismal flop. Instead of soft delicious ravioli I made nasty miniature chewy hot water bottles. The filling was tasty though. I tried making it using a 400g well of flour “00” on the worktop. I broke four large eggs into the centre of the well and began to combine the eggs with the flour. Easy peasy until the eggs started to break through the wall of the well and cascade towards the edge. I managed to save some of the egg mixture whilst Inca and The...
read moreLists and laundry
I’m not a list kind of woman. Lists horrify me as they have a tendency to go on and on. Some mornings Danny sits down at the kitchen table and makes a list. By the time dusk has fallen several things on his list have been crossed off. Impressive. I decided to do the same once. Danny was very enthusiastic. I added a handful of jobs that I had already done. I didn’t wait until dusk just crossed them off at lunchtime. He was stunned until he twigged that I hadn’t shifted from my chair. In the past I’ve bought diaries and notebooks in a...
read moreThe mouse farmer
As a child I loved the idea of farming and on my ninth birthday received a deluxe farm set. This had two fields, six stables, a barn with a loft and a farmhouse. The roof of each building lifted off. My favourites were the barn and the farmhouse. A family of felt mice lived in the latter. The hard farm work was carried out by the small group of Britain’s human farm workers that came with the set. The mouse family spent most of their time riding around in the gig – pulled by a white carthorse, as the boundaries of the farm went way beyond...
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