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A problem with poetry...
Sat 4-Aug-12
6:28 pm
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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Tue 22-Sep-09
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Hey All! wave

I think you may know I have been doing things with concrete lately. ponder

A few days ago I was asked to do a commission.

An on-line friend asked me if I would be interested in creating a memorial stone for his daughter. cry

I said "of course" so now we are working on a sentament.

Her name is Katie Erika Miller, and from the letter symbolism of her name her father got the sentament/phrase...

"Come dance with me on the water".

I was doing some research on poetry with parent/child symbolism, and I came across the idea of teaching your children to dance on the tops of your feet, so I came up with...

"You learned to dance on the tops of my feet,
now may you dance on the tops of the waves…"

I like the imagery, but the phrasing needs help.

I need something short, it can't be too wordy.

The image of dancing and water is importaint to the family.

So for all of you writing/poet types, here is a chalenge for you today. Can you think of something?

I am probably going to use a mold that allows me 7 lines, and depending on the words used I can get 3 to 4 words (possibly 5 if the words are small) per line.

Any ideas?

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

Sun 5-Aug-12
11:17 pm
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Terrier
York

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Tue 22-Sep-09
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I hope someone can help Michelle, I'm not that great at this sort of thing, am having a think about it though and if I get any brainwaves, I will come back to you...do you have a deadline.

How did the fair go?

Mon 6-Aug-12
2:38 am
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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No real deadline Janet, I still have the Scandinavian Festival to get through, which is this week.

I figured after this week I would focus on the stone, but I wanted to give any ideas that were given to me to my friend so he could have time to think about them....

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

Sat 11-Aug-12
6:19 pm
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KateUK
uk

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Large feet beneath yours

you learned to dance daintily

skipping and swirling your delicate steps.

Free now to dance

wherever you wish to

swooping and floating

above waves as they crest.

Kateuk makes things at http://www.etsy.com/shop/finkstuff and sometimes she does this too http://www54paintings.blogspot.com/ and also this http://finkstuff.weebly.com/

Mon 13-Aug-12
6:27 pm
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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Kate that's beautiful, than you!

I will show it to my friend and let him make the final choice.

I'll keep you posted on which poem he chooses.

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

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