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Elmo's delight
Tue 21-Dec-10
10:47 pm
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paperman
Saxmundham, Suffolk

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Tue 20-Apr-10
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Christmas Cake Recipe

 

 

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 2 bottles wine
* 2 cups of dried fruit

1. Sample the wine to check quality.
2. Take a large bowl, check the wine again.
3. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
4. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer.
5. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar.
6. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case.
7. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
8. Pick the fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
9. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity.
10. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts..
11. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink Whatever you can find.
12. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
13. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
14. Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
15. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.
16. Go toTesco and buy cake.
Bingle Jells!

I have reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me...

Wed 22-Dec-10
5:32 pm
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danast
Argyll, Scotland

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Thu 24-Sep-09
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wave Dearie me, I cannot stop laughing.  That is so funny.  big_laugh

Old teachers never die, they just lose their class

Wed 22-Dec-10
10:36 pm
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Rae Mond
Waalre, NL

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Thu 7-Jan-10
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If it takes a hen and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long would it take an ant to push a double decker bus up Pendle hill?

Intolerance will not be tolerated.

Thu 23-Dec-10
1:59 pm
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MOS
Cannock Chase

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Wed 12-May-10
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Rae Mond said:

If it takes a hen and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long would it take an ant to push a double decker bus up Pendle hill?


 

ABOUT THE SAME TIME AS IT WOULD TAKE A BUMBLE BEE TO BORE ITS WAY THROUGH A 2LB TIN OT TREACKE WITH THE LID ON big_laughbig_laugh MOS xx

sit down with a cupa and the urge will subside

Thu 23-Dec-10
2:34 pm
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Rae Mond
Waalre, NL

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MOS said:

Rae Mond said:

If it takes a hen and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long would it take an ant to push a double decker bus up Pendle hill?


 
ABOUT THE SAME TIME AS IT WOULD TAKE A BUMBLE BEE TO BORE ITS WAY THROUGH A 2LB TIN OT TREACKE WITH THE LID ON big_laughbig_laugh MOS xx

 

also known as a fortnight, yes.

Intolerance will not be tolerated.

Thu 23-Dec-10
2:58 pm
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bobbyW
East Suffolk almost near the sea and the Castle on the Hill.

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But.....If a centipede a bucket full what's a precipice?

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.A Sheer Drop!

"NEVER RIDE FASTER THAN YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL CAN FLY"
Your future self is watching you right now through memories

Thu 23-Dec-10
10:38 pm
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Danny
Scarborough, England
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These are just brilliant ! Thanks all.

Just don't get me started. I used to be known for specialising in corny jokes, not necessarily humorous. eeek

Never knowingly underfed

Fri 24-Dec-10
11:35 am
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MOS
Cannock Chase

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Danny said:

These are just brilliant ! Thanks all.

Just don't get me started. I used to be known for specialising in corny jokes, not necessarily humorous. eeek


 

wouldn't that be a STORY Dannybig_laughbig_laugh

sit down with a cupa and the urge will subside

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