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Husband Store.
Tue 22-Dec-09
11:19 pm
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AJ
West Wales

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A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Do you have a tounge in cheek smiley? Wink

AJ

Tue 22-Dec-09
11:24 pm
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SOL
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love it.  I knew from the title what joke it was.  The oldes are the best

Tue 22-Dec-09
11:34 pm
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Danny
Scarborough, England
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That was new to me, AJ. Excellent! Cool

And, no, we do not have a tongue-in-cheek smiley that is large enough to protect you!

Never knowingly underfed

Wed 23-Dec-09
11:09 am
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Toffeeapple
North Bucks

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New one on me too, thanks AJ!Laugh

I'll try that again!

Sat 26-Dec-09
6:24 pm
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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Tue 22-Sep-09
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LOL! Sad and true at the same time!

So, a man finds a old bottle and gives it a polish, and out pops a genie.

"Oh thank you for freeing me from that horrible bottle. I will reward you with a wish in return, but only one so choose well."

The man thinks for a moment and says "I've always wanted to take my wife to hawaii, but she doesn't like flying, and is afraid of boats. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii?"

The genie is shocked! "Do you have any idea how hard that will be? The engineering, the materials, the labor? It's impossible! You must choose something else!"

The man thinks for a while more and says "Could you give me the ability to understand my wife?"

The genie says "Would you like that bridge to have 2 lanes or 4?"

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

Tue 29-Dec-09
1:35 am
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AJ
West Wales

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Michelle from Oregon said:

LOL! Sad and true at the same time!

So, a man finds a old bottle and gives it a polish, and out pops a genie.

"Oh thank you for freeing me from that horrible bottle. I will reward you with a wish in return, but only one so choose well."

The man thinks for a moment and says "I've always wanted to take my wife to hawaii, but she doesn't like flying, and is afraid of boats. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii?"

The genie is shocked! "Do you have any idea how hard that will be? The engineering, the materials, the labor? It's impossible! You must choose something else!"

The man thinks for a while more and says "Could you give me the ability to understand my wife?"

The genie says "Would you like that bridge to have 2 lanes or 4?"


Oh so true!! (Once again, ducks beneath the the parapit.)

Tue 29-Dec-09
10:43 am
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Danny
Scarborough, England
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Nice one, Michelle!

Maybe we have the makings of a "good joke" thread. It's all AJ's fault, I say Cheers

Never knowingly underfed

Tue 29-Dec-09
5:24 pm
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shelley
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very funny!

Laugh

Sun 10-Jan-10
10:27 pm
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brightspark
Wilts

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A woman in a hot air balloon realised that she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man on the ground. She descended a bit more and shouted:

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend that I would meet her an hour ago and I don't know where I am"

The man below replied:

You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground between 40 and 41 degrees north and 50 and 60 degrees west"

"You must be in IT support" she said

"I am" replied the man, "but how did you know?"

"Well, everything you have told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of the information and, the fact is, I'm still lost! Frankly, you've not been much help and, if anything, you've delayed my journey"

The man below said "You must be in management"

"I am, but how did you know?"

Well, you don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve all your problems.

The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now somehow, it's all my fault!"

"Work for a cause, not for applause
Live life to express, not to impress
Don't strive to make your presence noticed
Just make your absence felt"
Mon 11-Jan-10
12:09 am
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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Oh dear, I think I hurt myself laughing!Cheers

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

Mon 11-Jan-10
1:38 am
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Danny
Scarborough, England
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omygawd - it's all so realistic!

I work in IT management nowadays and it rings a loud bell !! Surprised

Never knowingly underfed

Mon 11-Jan-10
11:41 am
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shelley
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just about to print it of to give some of my students a laughBig_Laugh

Mon 11-Jan-10
9:11 pm
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SOL
UK

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Mon 21-Sep-09
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wow Brightspark I am going to have to show PB that one.  I might even print it and frame if for my Dad.  He has a collection of these in the downstairs loo! 

Wed 27-Oct-10
3:04 pm
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
 
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
 
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck... Get the *&^%$# away from me".

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

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