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- Joke of the Day
Thu 30-Dec-10
6:04 pm
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bobbyW
Suffolk

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This test is specially designed to confirm thought reaction for fast drivers with high IQ

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a 'drop off' , (The ground is 18-24 inches below the level you are travelling on),
And on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you ...
In front of you is a galloping horse , which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it .
Behind you is a galloping zebra . Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you .
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation ?

For the answer, click and drag your mouse from star to star.

 

 

* Get offthe merry-go-round you fool, you're drunk*

"I THINK MY GUARDIAN ANGEL DRINKS"

Thu 30-Dec-10
6:25 pm
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Terrier
York

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Tue 22-Sep-09
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Did you hear the one about the kebab shop owner who died, he was buried with all his equipment, bet he's still turning in his grave - ho ho ho.

 

Thu 30-Dec-10
6:58 pm
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Toffeeapple
North Bucks

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Get offthe merry-go-round you fool, you're drunk

What a hoot!  Not so sure about the kebab shop owner Janet!

I'll try that again!

Thu 30-Dec-10
8:09 pm
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danast
Argyll, Scotland

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Thu 24-Sep-09
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wave  They are both brilliant.  

Old teachers never die, they just lose their class

Thu 30-Dec-10
9:55 pm
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Neil
Dalgarven Ayrshire

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Thu 23-Sep-10
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Who likes you the most, your other half or your dog???

 

Try this simple experiment¦¦¦..

 

Put both of them in the boot of your car, leave for an hour¦¦¦..

 

When you let them out which of them is really happy to see you. ??

 

See, it works.

 

The old Cowboy,

 

 

 

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and

orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a

sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the

bar and orders three more.

 

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes

flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a

time."

 

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in

Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas ,

we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank

together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for

myself."

 

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

 

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

 

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

 

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender

says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my

condolences on your loss."

 

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

 

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife

and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my brothers though."

Thu 30-Dec-10
10:36 pm
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danast
Argyll, Scotland

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wave Oh I do like that one.      big_laugh      Hadn't heard it before.

Old teachers never die, they just lose their class

Fri 31-Dec-10
12:14 am
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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big_laugh big_laugh big_laugh big_laugh big_laugh

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

Fri 31-Dec-10
4:04 pm
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paperman
Saxmundham, Suffolk

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Tue 20-Apr-10
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Marriage is like a game of cards.

All you need in the beginning are 2 Hearts and a Diamond

By the end you are wishing you had a Club and a Spade !!

 

 

I have reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me...

Fri 31-Dec-10
4:19 pm
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bobbyW
Suffolk

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Einstein was born March 14, 1879. 
He would be 130 if he were alive today.

Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was so well endowed.
He postulated that if men are attracted to women with large chests, the attraction is even stronger if there is a DNA Connection.

This came to be known as....

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

¦

 

Einstein's Theory of "Relative Titty."embarassedembarassed

 

 

Oh, stop groaning! I don't write this rubbish, I receive it from my warped friends and then pass it on to you.

"I THINK MY GUARDIAN ANGEL DRINKS"

Fri 31-Dec-10
4:22 pm
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Toffeeapple
North Bucks

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bobbyW said: 

Oh, stop groaning! I don't write this rubbish, I receive it from my warped friends and then pass it on to you.


 

Well, it makes me laugh Bob, keep them coming everyone...

I'll try that again!

Sun 2-Jan-11
10:49 am
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Terrier
York

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Love seeing new jokes, could we have a forum page for them, rather than me having to remember to go in to 'driving test' - even though it was a great joke

Not very good at telling them as I always forget something, but I could still post the odd one or two

Sun 2-Jan-11
1:00 pm
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typhoo
France - ex Ecosse

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Fri 8-Oct-10
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Following the acute water crisis in Ireland, Ministers have asked if the population could consider diluting their supply to make the resourses go further wink

Mon 3-Jan-11
12:26 pm
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bobbyW
Suffolk

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Seems once a post receives a reply, it is not subject to originator's editing. I tried to change the title to Joke of the day, maybe a mod has the ability to alter it.

"I THINK MY GUARDIAN ANGEL DRINKS"

Mon 3-Jan-11
12:52 pm
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Toffeeapple
North Bucks

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Unfortunately I don't Rob, Danny is the only one who has that ability.  I can do other things though!wink

I'll try that again!

Mon 3-Jan-11
3:54 pm
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bobbyW
Suffolk

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Well you saucy thing you............................like what wink

"I THINK MY GUARDIAN ANGEL DRINKS"

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