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Mon 1-Feb-10
4:23 am
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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So, I had a long drive today with lots of time to think.

Something has been bothering me, and I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not.

So, I would like to put it to you, all my friends at Cottage Smallholder to tell me if I am being silly, or if I am justified (but still being silly).  Hence, the idea for this thread.

And its not just for me, if anyone else needs feedback on a issue, please chime in.

So, I will call my issue....

The case of the samuri sword!

My husband has inherited a samuri sword that his Grandfather, according to family lore, got from Japan. He was in the Navy durring WWII, and it is said that it is a battlefield trophy.  (Grandpa was on the ship that the Japanease surrender was signed.) I with a little research I was able to find out that, yes, the scabbord has the proper patterns on the metal work as well as the handle of the sword that it is of late in the war creation.

The thing gives me the creeps. If I am being really honest, I don't want it in the house.

The big problem is, well, I love my husband. He has agreed to not display the thing, without a fight, and it is hidden away in the shipping tube that it was sent in. He doesn't even ask me about reconsidering, he is that sweet about it.

AM I UNREASONABLE?

If the vote is no, then I will leave it alone.

If the vote is yes, I'll take the darn thing and get it a proper display shadow box built for it. (But he's hanging it in his office!)

What do you think?

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

Mon 1-Feb-10
11:06 am
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davewbrown
South Wales

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Hi Michelle,

I guess it depends on why it gives you the creeps and the level of your fear. You don't say why it gives you the creeps...is it because of the history involved or is it the idea of having a weapon on display? There is also the chance of aichmophobia (fear of knives) (?).

Having it displayed in a locked case may set your mind at ease, but I do understand your concern. I like to go hunting but my wife has a fear of guns; so I have to make sure that it's locked away where she can't see it...I understand her fear and as a result I'm considerate. It sounds like your husband is also considerate, and would probably not want to display it if he knows it makes you uncomfortable.

Maybe put it on display in a temporary position and live with it for a couple of weeks to see if you get used to it? 

Mon 1-Feb-10
12:48 pm
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Rae Mond
Waalre, NL

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I would love to have such an awesome family heirloom, and would have it on display somewhere prominent, despite its military connections (Is it terribly perverse that whilst I love weapons I despise the military?), but that's me.

A few questions I would add to Dave's are, how does your hubby feel about it? Does he particularly want it out on display? How often do you go into his study, so how different would really it be for him to have it on the wall in there instead of in a cupboard?

Though if it really does make you uncomfortable, for whatever reason, and he's happy to keep it under wraps, then does anything need to be done?

Intolerance will not be tolerated.

Mon 1-Feb-10
1:22 pm
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Danny
Scarborough, England
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I think that they most important factor is Michelle's loathing of the sword to the point where she does not want it in the house. If she were to concede and allow it to be on display, it might only strengthen nameless fears, cause nightmares etc. That's assuming that Michelle's fears are really as deep seated as she has described.

I think keep things as they are. Hubby is obviously proud of his family history and the sword is a tangible symbol of that. So it is valuable to him on many levels. He can close his door and quietly take it out at any time without causing offence or upset. If he his content to accept that condition, then he is a considerate guy and it represents a fair compromise.

No, Michelle, you are not being unreasonable.

Never knowingly underfed

Mon 1-Feb-10
2:24 pm
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KateUK
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My family always laugh at my being un-nerved by sharp things and chain saws...I just don't like having potentially limb-removing things about the place. I put it down to having too vivid an imagination. I wouldn't like having a sharp sword on the wall, kept somewhere sensible is fine, but not on display. Not unreasonable is my vote.

Kateuk makes things at http://www.etsy.com/shop/finkstuff and sometimes she does this too http://www54paintings.blogspot.com/ and also this http://finkstuff.weebly.com/

Mon 1-Feb-10
3:28 pm
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danast
Argyll, Scotland

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You know, we can never really understand why we have certain things that make us feel uncomfortable.  We cannot explain it.  I do not like those African heads that are beautifully carved in wood.  Strange, because I love wood.  I would not entertain one these carvings in my house.

 So Michelle, far from being unreasonable, you cannot help it.  Nothing will make you feel any better about that sword.  Just be thankful you have a very understanding husband who although he does not understand your feelings, is willing to respect you.  What a lovely man!!

This thread surely goes alongside the thread on romance    Big_Hug

Old teachers never die, they just lose their class

Mon 1-Feb-10
8:00 pm
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Danny
Scarborough, England
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Hey, Michelle, may I also add that we are really touched by the fact that you entrusted your personal issue to the people on this forum. Fiona and I take that as a huge compliment to the innate honor and decency of the regular contributors. A big Thank You and a Very Big Big_Hug to you and Dan.

Never knowingly underfed

Mon 1-Feb-10
8:10 pm
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SOL
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this is a tricky one.  I myself have some weapons...?  If that is the best way to put it.  but they are for sport as in archery etc.  They live out of the way and out of the reach of small children...  as there is more to just picking a bow up as you have to assemble it...  but it is still dangerous in the wrong hands.

Anything that makes you uncomfortable should be talked about and agreed on together.  We have some antique turkish bows and arrows that a member of my family gave us.  Although I would like to display them there is also the side that I am aware that people do not like such things and could make people not feel welcome in my home...  But then I think I am a bit sensitive so, take that with a pinch of salt.

You could work then into the decor somehow?

Mon 1-Feb-10
9:17 pm
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JoannaS
Latvia

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I agree with you Michelle, I don't think I would like it displayed either in my house. If it was me I would want to give it away to a local museum but I wouldn't do it without hubby's consent, I can respect the idea of a cherished heirloom. Your hubby is certainly sweet in respecting your unease.

(I don't like the wooden carved masks either Danast, I do have wooden carved sculptures but I wouldn't have the masks so can understand that too.)

Tue 2-Feb-10
3:15 am
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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Wow! Thanks everybody, great feedback! Well, let see…

davewbrown- The biggest reason why the sword gives me the creeps is the fact that the blade is worn (sharpen marks and knicks), so it makes my mind go to the obivious question, did this hurt/kill somebody? Short of taking it to a lab and having someone treat it with luminol (I think thats how you spell it!) I will never know.

Rae Mond- Dan (hubby) has wanted the sword from the time he was a little boy. His family would make special trips to see his grandparents, and he would always ask to see before he left. He was so happy when his grandmother gave it to him. He got lucky, none of the other grandkids had expressed an intrest in it, so it went to him. The reason why I think I should do something with it is I don't want it damaged or for lack of a better word "disrespected" (does that make sense?). And also, it would make Dan happy to display the sword.  

Danny- Like I was telling davewbrown, I'm conserned that it may have been used to kill someone. I don't want to drag in the wooo-wooo factor, but it didn't bother me untill I was looking the sword over trying to find clues to its origination. I took the scabbord off the blade, and was looking for identifing marks. Then it just hit me. This was not a tourist souviner. It was taken off a battlefield, the blade has been used. It was sharpened, it has wear, it has knicks. 

And Danny, you are so welcome, and thank you for letting me air my thoughts! I really respect you and Fiona as well as everyone who takes time to post on the forum. Even if I don't agree with something that someone posts everyone is so respectful to one another you can't help but like them anyway!

KateUK- I am with you on the vivid imagination part. I am a extremely empathetic person as well, and it gets me into trouble, like now.

S.O.L- Wepons, bows, guns, knives, all of those I'm fine with, they just need to be displayed safely. Those turkish bows and arrows sound really interesting, but you are right not everyone would be comfortable around them.

JoannaS- I would love to give it to a museum, that is probably where it belongs, but I would never do that without Dan's say so. I just wouldn't pull that on him.

Oh and not to forget Danast- I do have a wonderful guy! He wouldn't hurt me for anything, I don't know what I did to deserve him, and I am blessed for having him in my life. You are right, there is a kind of romance in self-sacrifice. Doing something you don't want to because it will make the one you love happy.

I had to edit this post as you can see, since I am really tired right now, and when I put it up the first time it was a mess!

Whew! Well, with all that new information anyone care to change a vote?

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

Tue 2-Feb-10
10:03 am
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Rae Mond
Waalre, NL

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How about a sort of compromise where you can have a nice, opaque wooden, locked, cabinet, which it can live in safely, but can't be seen, in his study, so it's both out of sight/mind for you and not at the back of a cupboard where it might get damaged? Would that work?

Intolerance will not be tolerated.

Tue 2-Feb-10
10:04 am
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Rae Mond
Waalre, NL

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The network had a special moment then and posted my comment twice. oops.

Intolerance will not be tolerated.

Wed 3-Feb-10
12:32 am
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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You know Rae, I was thinking the same thing today. Some sort of a display box that can be closed and locked up. We don't have kids currently, but the nephews and nieces are in and out of the house lots, and I really don't want someone playing around with it. I do have some building skills, I may even take a crack at building it myself.

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

Wed 3-Feb-10
12:18 pm
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SOL
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Great Idea. 

Wed 3-Feb-10
11:48 pm
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Danny
Scarborough, England
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Thanks for your extended response to everybody's comments, Michelle. Appreciate that.

I think that Rae's "obaque cabinet" idea is a great compromise. Ease of access for Dan but not in your face. As long as your are comfortable with that.

I had not realised that the sword apparently had been used in combat, as per its nicks etc.

But, at the end of the day, your instinctive and probably inexplicable "gut feel" is paramount. My Fiona is qute psychic, and I am guided by her instinct in many matters. I just go with the flow.

Never knowingly underfed

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