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9:03 pm
Fri 23-Jul-10
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Rae Mond
| | Waalre, NL | |
|  Councillor | posts 1062 | 
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apparently, not that I think one should give too much weight to this sort of thing, some recent study or other suggests that for teenagers (regrettably a category that no longer includes me, though I do still get ID-ed for booze quite frequently) counting their blessings actually makes them more depressed, as one of the key things that gets the kids down (not to be confused with being down with the kids, two different concepts) is being powerless, and reminding them of all the things that aren't rubbish (also things not usually under their control, like having family, health, not living in Burundi, that sort of thing) makes them feel extra impotent.
For folks with more experience under their belts (ahem),this is well tried and tested tactic, but it's always good to remember that works for one doesnae work for all.
To continue the personal,confessional, thread to this, um, thread, I find that making a mental (or otherwise) list of what's good when I'm otherwise feeling (to use a technical term) poop, makes me feel ungrateful,as I have many wonderful things to be happy about, yet so often still feel lost in a dark and featureless landscape. Ho hum.
In those times I would recommend going to bed on top of the wardrobe. You'll soon drop off, and I've yet to wake up feeling as bad as I did before 
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9:24 pm
Fri 23-Jul-10
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KateUK
| | uk | |
| Councillor | posts 1648 | |
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Oh yes, Rae- I know that ungrateful feeling- when black dog is about fun disappears- personally I find going to sleep does really help when in extremis, stops the negative thoughts, gives the head time to re-organise itself without being nagged by one's concious self for being miserable.
I meditate more these days- I'm certain it has helped a lot. I have developed several very relaxing and calming places to go to in my head when I need to.
Having nice things in one's life does not stop depression- things can be absolutely tickety-boo but one can still feel hopeless and it can happen like a switch flipping and all self confidence and assurance just vanishes.
BUT it does make one really enjoy the happy times!
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9:46 pm
Fri 23-Jul-10
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Rae Mond
| | Waalre, NL | |
| Councillor | posts 1062 |
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in agreement there, it's a bit of a devil's bargain really, the good times are SO good, but the bad times so bad.
a friend of mine asks herself, if it were possible to take the misery of the bad time you're currently experiencing and spread it evenly over all the other times, so no one time would ever be so bad, but all the good times wouldn't be quite so good, would you? Or is it better to keep your head down and wait for it to pass, knowing/hoping/praying that round the corner things will be bright and shiny again.
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10:17 pm
Fri 23-Jul-10
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danast
| | Argyll, Scotland | |
|  Supreme Being | posts 5024 | |
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I don't really know haw to respond to all your comments. I have felt very down before and it has lasted a while, but I know I have never suffered from depression. The nearest I get is low self esteem, but I know that is linked to being so overweight. However I know I am lucky not be be one on the many who suffer.
I have learned over the years that until you have experienced something, you can never truly understand what people go through in their lives. However of one thing I am certain, that to talk about a probem on a forum where people genuinely care and understand can only do good.
It never ceases to amaze me on this forum that we have folks who care enough to empathise, congratulate, wind up with confidence, debate, laugh, encourage and generally look after each other. Are we not a lucky bunch of people to have found each other. We are all so different, yet so alike in many ways. 
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Old teachers never die, they just lose their class
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11:40 pm
Fri 23-Jul-10
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Danny
| | Newmarket, England | |
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danast said:
I don't really know haw to respond to all your comments. I have felt very down before and it has lasted a while, but I know I have never suffered from depression. The nearest I get is low self esteem, but I know that is linked to being so overweight. However I know I am lucky not be be one on the many who suffer.
I have learned over the years that until you have experienced something, you can never truly understand what people go through in their lives. However of one thing I am certain, that to talk about a problem on a forum where people genuinely care and understand can only do good.
It never ceases to amaze me on this forum that we have folks who care enough to empathise, congratulate, wind up with confidence, debate, laugh, encourage and generally look after each other. Are we not a lucky bunch of people to have found each other. We are all so different, yet so alike in many ways.
Oh, Danuta, what a lovely compliment to all of us. Thank you very much.
I do not normally quote an entire post, usually just selected portions, but yours totally deserves full repetition. And I totally agree. We (all of you) have formed a genuinely supportive nucleus that I, for one, absolutely adore. It is both fun and deep when called for.
Enough of that! Where are Elsa, Kate or MOS when a bawdy joke is required?
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4:38 am
Sat 24-Jul-10
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JoannaS
| | Latvia | |
| Supreme Being | posts 3987 | |
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Danuta I wonder if what you have experienced is grief. I have often found that a major move or change brings with it a period of grief at some stage, sometimes quite delayed. It is part of the letting go process of something which has been a major part of your life. I think today we expect that everything should be fine all the time. The first time I experienced it was after moving away from Sheffield to a beautiful village and couldn't understand why I was sad, yes missing some friends I had left but I could go and see them. I can't remember where I stumbled upon the answer to the problem but found out that I needed to let myself grieve for the things I had left and now I recognise it much sooner – good job after moving three times in 7 years. 
I love the supportive nature of this forum too and the banter .
I don't envy you with depression, the nearest I ever came was just after a particularly difficult time with sickness in the family sitting on my bed and staring down a deep dark hole. I took one long hard look down that hole and decided I couldn't go there and wouldn't go there and mentally turned away from it  . I realise though that depression for most tends to creep up on them, so I am glad that I had the chance to stare it in the face so to speak.
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7:16 am
Sat 24-Jul-10
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ep
| | Bulgaria | |
| Supreme Being | posts 2821 | |
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OK Danny….you want baudy….they say the sense of humour is greatest in those that have endured the most….I hid behind valium and mogodon for several years, prescribed by the medical profession and realised all that I was covering up was a childhood where I was told that I would achieve nothing in life unlike an elder sister that had the perfect house and perfect children.
I had a marriage where I was (apparently) not good enough and the marriage was going nowhere, had two beautiful children (my lifesavers)….solution…got divorced, threw the pills out of the window (not literally, flushed them down the loo), took on the role of single parent working full time to keep the boat afloat, realised that my mother always blamed my father or her parents for her never achieving much so anything that I did would make me quids in.
Where am I now after climbing the corporate ladder and saving some loot? On a Bulgarian hillside, renovating a wreck into a beautiful house and thinking 'how lucky am I'……I also meditake Kate and think beautiful thoughts and 'forgive those that know not what they do'….whether it be by word or deed….not worth the hassle any more…..I became a spiritualist over twenty years ago and the main thing that I took from it is 'personal responsibility'….at the end of the day it's down to me, the decisions have to be mine so I can't blame anyone and that when I move on to pastures green, it's my 'book of life' that is up for discussion with the powers that be….
So where's that wardrobe….I'm off for a nap…….
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4:42 am
Sun 25-Jul-10
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Michelle from Oregon
| | Oregon, USA | |
| Councillor | posts 1238 |
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Wow, I go off to work on a project and a great conversation crops up!
Hmm, depression, yep, mine came from a undiagnosed food allergy, and a very high self-expectations. Unrealistically high? Perhaps, but as somebody said, "Always shoot for the moon. If you miss, you still will be among the stars".
One of the things that i use to pull myself out of the blues is music. I concentrate on the lyrics, and what the lyricist meant when they strung those particular words together. I will paint "word pictures" (for lack of a better description) in my head of what the song would look like to me. Creating a happy/relaxing place, I suppose. "Down by the Sea" by Men at Work, great imagary there.
I also use music to break a dark thought cycle, singing something silly out loud to stop the thought process.
My favorite is a couple of advertising jingles from Oscar Mayer. And good old YouTube will help me out here, since I don't think you saw this in the UK.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmPRHJd3uHI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9kmC0VXmwc
Imagine singing "Oh I wish a was an Oscar Mayer weiner" out loud, at work, and think of the reactions you get. And thats why it works for me, because people stop and laugh at me, and I in turn laugh at myself.
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If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!
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10:45 am
Sun 25-Jul-10
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devongarden
| | Devon, UK | |
| Councillor | posts 1079 | |
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Michelle, I remember that from my dim and distant youth! Or part of it, most of my song memories are partial. I also corrupt songs, which is a good thing to do when feeling down. Another one from my youth tends to go m-i-c-k-e-y L-o-u-s-e.
Or Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly, I gotta love one man till I die, from Show Boat. You get the general idea, I hope.
Youth-daughter went to get a bottle of wine at Christmas, and came back without it–they asked her for proof of age, which she didn't have. Um, she isn't quite twice 18, but not that far off. She was more disconcerted than flattered!
Depression – truly dreadful, and there is so much around at the moment since stress that isn't alleviated can lead into it. (Insert optional rant about workplace stress here.) If you can "pull yourself together" it isn't full blown depression, because if you could you would! Clinical depression only means a doctor has labelled it, it isn't any different because of the label.
Must go out and into the sunshine and do some gardening (US and UK meanings!)
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12:52 pm
Sun 25-Jul-10
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KateUK
| | uk | |
| Councillor | posts 1648 | |
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Danny, trust me, I'm not the person to ask for a bawdy joke, unless you want the site closed down ……
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5:39 pm
Sun 25-Jul-10
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Danny
| | Newmarket, England | |
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Gleefully mentally bookmarked, Kate, for the CSH meet-up if you make it. Sounds like an appropriate activity after a few glasses of whatever you are having 
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8:31 pm
Sun 25-Jul-10
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Rae Mond
| | Waalre, NL | |
| Councillor | posts 1062 |
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am looking forward to this meet up more and more!
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10:19 pm
Sun 25-Jul-10
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danast
| | Argyll, Scotland | |
| Supreme Being | posts 5024 | |
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 Me too
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Old teachers never die, they just lose their class
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