When I was at secondary school there were a couple of subjects that just didn’t sing to me. Algebra and physics. They came on the same day, bang in the middle of the school week. But I knew that if I woke at dawn and coughed hard I could create an instant sore throat by the time my mother came in to wake me. She’d immediately make me a hottie and bring up a cold drink.
Then my mum would proffer a thermometer – the old fashioned type with mercury that you had to twist to see the result. And as she went to the medicine cabinet to find me some aspirin I’d put the thermometer on the hot water bottle.
It worked like magic. I’d get the day off school and spend a happy day reading and watching the to and fro of neighbours through a cheap pair of plastic binoculars that I’d won at a friend’s birthday party. By the end of the day I’d be so bored that I’d be longing to return to school.
Years later my mum admitted that the temperature on the thermometer was so high that it clearly had been tampered with. But she reckoned that sometimes I just needed a day at home so she went along with the ruse.
After four days in the human dog basket the Min Pins are getting restive. Perhaps they are longing to learn algebra and physics.
“Danny. Do you have a moment?”
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