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- Joke of the Day
Sat 2-Nov-13
7:55 pm
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Danny
Scarborough, England
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Toooooo easy, EP big_laugh

Never knowingly underfed

Sun 3-Nov-13
5:01 pm
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ep
Bulgaria

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This better Danny.....

 

One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy - reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon. 

He pours from the bottle onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist. 

"Could you taste this for me, please?" 

The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it. 

"Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy. 

"No, not at all," says the chemist. 

"Oh that's a relief," says Paddy. "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar." 

Who lives long sees much : The diary of my life in Bulgaria

Sun 3-Nov-13
7:38 pm
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Danny
Scarborough, England
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big_laugh big_laugh

Yes, Elsa, that's more like it!

Never knowingly underfed

Sun 3-Nov-13
9:35 pm
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danast
Argyll, Scotland

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wave  big_laugh   big_laugh   big_laugh    

Old teachers never die, they just lose their class

Sat 30-Nov-13
2:13 pm
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bobbyW
East Suffolk almost near the sea and the Castle on the Hill.

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http://www.elfyourself.com  a bit of silly fun to pass the time

"NEVER RIDE FASTER THAN YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL CAN FLY"
Your future self is watching you right now through memories

Thu 30-Jan-14
4:19 am
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ep
Bulgaria

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In a church in Umlazi one Sunday morning a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front of the altar." With that, Sipho got in line and when it was his turn the Preacher asked, "Sipho, what do you want me to pray about for you?" He replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand on Sipho's ear, placed his other hand on top of Sipho's head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm.

 

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Sipho, how is your hearing now?" Sipho answered, "I don't know. My hearing is only next Thursday".

runawayrunaway

Who lives long sees much : The diary of my life in Bulgaria

Fri 31-Jan-14
8:14 pm
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Danny
Scarborough, England
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That did make me laugh! big_laugh

Never knowingly underfed

Fri 21-Feb-14
6:13 pm
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Ambersparkle

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Patient to Doctor, " I keep on singing ' The Green Green Grass of Home' is this normal? Doctor, "it's not unusual!"runawaysmile

Sun 23-Feb-14
3:52 am
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Bigdenys
Swadlincote, Derbyshire, UK

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A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"   "Nine...Eight..."confused

I used to be indecisive now I am not so sure

Sun 23-Feb-14
3:55 am
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Bigdenys
Swadlincote, Derbyshire, UK

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Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

A: Put a little boogie in it. flaming_norabig_laugh

I used to be indecisive now I am not so sure

Sun 23-Feb-14
10:28 am
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danast
Argyll, Scotland

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wave Denys, they are terrible jokes, but I did laugh!!!!!   big_laugh    big_laugh

Old teachers never die, they just lose their class

Sun 23-Feb-14
9:54 pm
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bobbyW
East Suffolk almost near the sea and the Castle on the Hill.

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A new Kosher garage has opened in town offering discounted rates.
I took my car to be Simonized.....................It came back with 3" off the exhaust pipe!

"NEVER RIDE FASTER THAN YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL CAN FLY"
Your future self is watching you right now through memories

Mon 24-Feb-14
1:33 am
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Bigdenys
Swadlincote, Derbyshire, UK

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OMG that bought tears to my eyes angry_kick

I used to be indecisive now I am not so sure

Mon 24-Feb-14
5:40 am
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ep
Bulgaria

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Stunt Pilot:

A young lady walks into a supermarket and on her way round she sees the bloke who had his wicked way with her the previous evening, after they had met in a pub. He was stacking washing powder boxes onto the shelves.

"You lying toad" she yells" last night you told me you were a stunt pilot"
"No" he says "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team"

Who lives long sees much : The diary of my life in Bulgaria

Mon 24-Feb-14
12:00 pm
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danast
Argyll, Scotland

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wave  Oh, that really made me laugh!!   big_laugh

Old teachers never die, they just lose their class

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