The Cottage Smallholder


stumbling self sufficiency in a small space

Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
sp_Search Search
Advanced Search
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_Search Search
Go to Bottom
No permission to create posts
Page: 12Jump to page
sp_Feed Topic RSS sp_TopicIcon
Limericks
Sun 29-May-11
7:27 pm
Avatar
Hattie
Bucks/Oxon Border

Supreme Being
Members

New members
Forum Posts: 6920
Member Since:
Mon 21-Sep-09
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
Go to Top
1sp_Permalink sp_Print

I have always enjoyed the wit & fun of these little poems & I suddenly thought I bet you forumites might know some good ones or even compose one or two for our entertainment.

Here's one to start with.....

 

Quoth a comely young lady from Norway
As she hung by her heels in a doorway,
"Although I'm proficient
In arts concupiscent
Thank God, I've discovered one more way."

 

I think it was collected (or written) by Ray Allen Billington

 

"The beautiful is as useful as the useful...perhaps more so."

from Les Miserables

Sun 29-May-11
7:32 pm
Avatar
Toffeeapple
North Bucks

Members

Moderators
Forum Posts: 16337
Member Since:
Tue 22-Sep-09
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
Go to Top
2sp_Permalink sp_Print

eeek Shocked I am, shocked!

I'll try that again!

Sun 29-May-11
7:49 pm
Avatar
Hattie
Bucks/Oxon Border

Supreme Being
Members

New members
Forum Posts: 6920
Member Since:
Mon 21-Sep-09
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
Go to Top
3sp_Permalink sp_Print

If it really shock you TA I will delete it.......ponder ?

 

"The beautiful is as useful as the useful...perhaps more so."

from Les Miserables

Sun 29-May-11
8:34 pm
Avatar
SumpRat
Reading

Councillor
Members

New members
Forum Posts: 1034
Member Since:
Sun 7-Mar-10
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
sp_Twitter sp_Facebook
Go to Top
4sp_Permalink sp_Print

A mosquito was heard to complain
That a chemist had poisoned his brain
The cause of his sorrow
Was paradichloro
Diphenyltrichloroethane.

A well fed rat is a HappyRat    A smile a day keeps the psychiatrist away.

Mon 30-May-11
6:42 am
Avatar
Toffeeapple
North Bucks

Members

Moderators
Forum Posts: 16337
Member Since:
Tue 22-Sep-09
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
Go to Top
5sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hattie, don't worry, I was joking! 

I'll try that again!

Mon 30-May-11
7:52 am
Avatar
seth
lincolnshire fens

Councillor
Members

New members
Forum Posts: 1381
Member Since:
Fri 10-Sep-10
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
Go to Top
6sp_Permalink sp_Print

The limericks I know are so crude,

In fact they're decidedly rude,

So won't play this game,

thanks all the same,

Don't want to be thought of as lewd.

Seed catalogues are responsible for more unfulfilled fantasies than the web and playboy combined . (after Michael Perry)

Fri 14-Sep-12
9:47 pm
Avatar
SumpRat
Reading

Councillor
Members

New members
Forum Posts: 1034
Member Since:
Sun 7-Mar-10
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
sp_Twitter sp_Facebook
Go to Top
7sp_Permalink sp_Print

There was a young curate from Kew

Who kept a black cat in a pew

He taught it each week

Alphabetical Greek

But never got further than Mew

A well fed rat is a HappyRat    A smile a day keeps the psychiatrist away.

Fri 14-Sep-12
11:25 pm
Avatar
Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

Councillor
Members
Forum Posts: 1343
Member Since:
Tue 22-Sep-09
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
sp_Facebook
Go to Top
8sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hattie said:

I have always enjoyed the wit & fun of these little poems & I suddenly thought I bet you forumites might know some good ones or even compose one or two for our entertainment.

Here's one to start with.....

 

Quoth a comely young lady from Norway
As she hung by her heels in a doorway,
"Although I'm proficient
In arts concupiscent
Thank God, I've discovered one more way."

 

I think it was collected (or written) by Ray Allen Billington

 

Toffeeapple said:

eeek Shocked I am, shocked!

 

Oh that's all right, I had to look up concupiscent to decide if I was shocked or not....big_laugh big_laugh big_laugh big_laugh big_laugh

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

Sat 15-Sep-12
5:17 pm
Avatar
ep
Bulgaria

Supreme Being
Members

New members
Forum Posts: 3967
Member Since:
Mon 7-Jun-10
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
sp_UserWebsite
Go to Top
9sp_Permalink sp_Print

There was a young man called Bob

Who landed himself with a job.

He said ' I'm more than willing

To work for a shilling'

They said 'No Bob, next weeks Bob-a-job'.

 

winkwink

Who lives long sees much : The diary of my life in Bulgaria

Sat 15-Sep-12
5:30 pm
Avatar
danast
Argyll, Scotland

Supreme Being
Members
Forum Posts: 10232
Member Since:
Thu 24-Sep-09
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
sp_Facebook
Go to Top
10sp_Permalink sp_Print

wave Fantastic Elsa!!   big_laugh   How long did that take you??  big_laugh

Old teachers never die, they just lose their class

Sat 15-Sep-12
5:49 pm
Avatar
ep
Bulgaria

Supreme Being
Members

New members
Forum Posts: 3967
Member Since:
Mon 7-Jun-10
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
sp_UserWebsite
Go to Top
11sp_Permalink sp_Print

A couple of minutes Danuta...the inspiration came from the Uni...verse!!.......winkwink

Just knowing how to 'tune in'....

Who lives long sees much : The diary of my life in Bulgaria

Sun 1-Sep-13
4:28 pm
Avatar
Ambersparkle

Supreme Being
Members

New members
Forum Posts: 6699
Member Since:
Wed 22-Dec-10
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
Go to Top
12sp_Permalink sp_Print

A FATHER OF TWINS

MR DUNN.GAVE EDWARD TO EACH

BABY SON, WHEN ASKED WHY HE  SAID,

WELL, I,VE ALWAYS READ

THAT TWO ,EDS ARE BETTER THAN ONE!

Sun 1-Sep-13
4:59 pm
Avatar
Sooliz
Somerset

Supreme Being
Members

New members
Forum Posts: 8084
Member Since:
Sun 30-Jan-11
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
sp_Facebook
Go to Top
13sp_Permalink sp_Print

Tina, capitals are considered to be SHOUTING on forums......(we might all be getting on a bit, but we - well, most of us - can still hear, you know winkbig_laugh).

I like the limerick, though okbig_hug

learning to love veg…..except celery :-O

Sun 1-Sep-13
5:08 pm
Avatar
brightspark
Wilts

Supreme Being
Members
Forum Posts: 10532
Member Since:
Wed 30-Dec-09
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
Go to Top
14sp_Permalink sp_Print

What did you say, Sue?   whistle

Some people have a way with words, and I love reading poetry in any form, but just can't compose 'em!!

Women are like tea bags. . .
you never know how strong they are
until they're in hot water.
- Eleanor Roosevelt -
Sun 1-Sep-13
5:11 pm
Avatar
Sooliz
Somerset

Supreme Being
Members

New members
Forum Posts: 8084
Member Since:
Sun 30-Jan-11
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
sp_Facebook
Go to Top
15sp_Permalink sp_Print

Sorry Val, I forgot you're older than me........winktonguebig_laughbig_hug

learning to love veg…..except celery :-O

No permission to create posts
Page: 12Jump to page
sp_Feed All RSS
Go to top
Forum Timezone: Europe/London

Most Users Ever Online: 767

Currently Online:
30 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

brightspark: 10532

danast: 10232

Aly: 9516

Sooliz: 8084

Hattie: 6920

Ambersparkle: 6699

JoannaS: 4800

Terrier: 4518

eileen54: 4424

Hannah: 4231

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 10

Members: 16169

Moderators: 2

Admins: 2

Forum Stats:

Groups: 6

Forums: 25

Topics: 2295

Posts: 123081

Newest Members:

brunorogers, Weismart, renesmith97, KarenFields21, bettyg53, moragsmum

Moderators: Toffeeapple: 16337, AdminTA: 10

Administrators: fn: 333, Danny: 5516


Copyright © 2006-2012 Cottage Smallholder      Our Privacy Policy      Advertise on Cottage Smallholder