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Limericks
Sun 29-May-11
7:27 pm
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Hattie
Bucks/Oxon Border

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I have always enjoyed the wit & fun of these little poems & I suddenly thought I bet you forumites might know some good ones or even compose one or two for our entertainment.

Here's one to start with.....

 

Quoth a comely young lady from Norway
As she hung by her heels in a doorway,
"Although I'm proficient
In arts concupiscent
Thank God, I've discovered one more way."

 

I think it was collected (or written) by Ray Allen Billington

 

"The beautiful is as useful as the useful...perhaps more so."

from Les Miserables

Sun 29-May-11
7:32 pm
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Toffeeapple
North Bucks

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eeek Shocked I am, shocked!

I'll try that again!

Sun 29-May-11
7:49 pm
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Hattie
Bucks/Oxon Border

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If it really shock you TA I will delete it.......ponder ?

 

"The beautiful is as useful as the useful...perhaps more so."

from Les Miserables

Sun 29-May-11
8:34 pm
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SumpRat
Reading

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A mosquito was heard to complain
That a chemist had poisoned his brain
The cause of his sorrow
Was paradichloro
Diphenyltrichloroethane.

A well fed rat is a HappyRat    A smile a day keeps the psychiatrist away.

Mon 30-May-11
6:42 am
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Toffeeapple
North Bucks

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Hattie, don't worry, I was joking! 

I'll try that again!

Mon 30-May-11
7:52 am
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seth
lincolnshire fens

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The limericks I know are so crude,

In fact they're decidedly rude,

So won't play this game,

thanks all the same,

Don't want to be thought of as lewd.

Seed catalogues are responsible for more unfulfilled fantasies than the web and playboy combined . (after Michael Perry)

Fri 14-Sep-12
9:47 pm
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SumpRat
Reading

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There was a young curate from Kew

Who kept a black cat in a pew

He taught it each week

Alphabetical Greek

But never got further than Mew

A well fed rat is a HappyRat    A smile a day keeps the psychiatrist away.

Fri 14-Sep-12
11:25 pm
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Michelle from Oregon
Oregon, USA

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Hattie said:

I have always enjoyed the wit & fun of these little poems & I suddenly thought I bet you forumites might know some good ones or even compose one or two for our entertainment.

Here's one to start with.....

 

Quoth a comely young lady from Norway
As she hung by her heels in a doorway,
"Although I'm proficient
In arts concupiscent
Thank God, I've discovered one more way."

 

I think it was collected (or written) by Ray Allen Billington

 

Toffeeapple said:

eeek Shocked I am, shocked!

 

Oh that's all right, I had to look up concupiscent to decide if I was shocked or not....big_laugh big_laugh big_laugh big_laugh big_laugh

If you can't be a shining example, be a terrible warning!

Sat 15-Sep-12
5:17 pm
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ep
Bulgaria

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There was a young man called Bob

Who landed himself with a job.

He said ' I'm more than willing

To work for a shilling'

They said 'No Bob, next weeks Bob-a-job'.

 

winkwink

Who lives long sees much : The diary of my life in Bulgaria

Sat 15-Sep-12
5:30 pm
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danast
Argyll, Scotland

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wave Fantastic Elsa!!   big_laugh   How long did that take you??  big_laugh

Old teachers never die, they just lose their class

Sat 15-Sep-12
5:49 pm
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ep
Bulgaria

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A couple of minutes Danuta...the inspiration came from the Uni...verse!!.......winkwink

Just knowing how to 'tune in'....

Who lives long sees much : The diary of my life in Bulgaria

Sun 1-Sep-13
4:28 pm
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Ambersparkle

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A FATHER OF TWINS

MR DUNN.GAVE EDWARD TO EACH

BABY SON, WHEN ASKED WHY HE  SAID,

WELL, I,VE ALWAYS READ

THAT TWO ,EDS ARE BETTER THAN ONE!

Sun 1-Sep-13
4:59 pm
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Sooliz
Somerset

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Tina, capitals are considered to be SHOUTING on forums......(we might all be getting on a bit, but we - well, most of us - can still hear, you know winkbig_laugh).

I like the limerick, though okbig_hug

learning to love veg…..except celery :-O

Sun 1-Sep-13
5:08 pm
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brightspark
Wilts

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What did you say, Sue?   whistle

Some people have a way with words, and I love reading poetry in any form, but just can't compose 'em!!

Women are like tea bags. . .
you never know how strong they are
until they're in hot water.
- Eleanor Roosevelt -
Sun 1-Sep-13
5:11 pm
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Sooliz
Somerset

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Sorry Val, I forgot you're older than me........winktonguebig_laughbig_hug

learning to love veg…..except celery :-O

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