Guinea pigs are heaven to eat
Comments(44)
Warning ! This post is not suitable reading for the faint hearted, it contains black humour.
Guinea pigs are a delicacy in Peru. I discovered that they are delicious raw.
One day I returned from my first wallpapering job to find The Contessa barking with delight from a pretty yellow silk button backed chair. Peeping out from a pile of cushions beside her was a tan shorthaired guinea pig with very bright black eyes. Not knowing quite how to deal with the situation I reached for the kitchen roll. My sister, who was with me at the time, couldn’t be bothered with my namby pambiness and pulled away the nest of cushions.
There was just the front of the guinea pig left. It looked as if it had been chopped with an axe. The Min Pins had eaten it, bones and all.
The next morning I woke to empty dog beds. Dr Q and The Contessa were out early searching the undergrowth. They spent all daylight hours in the garden for the next three weeks. They could smell live guinea pig but they couldn’t locate the mobile dish. This was because the other guinea pig had strayed into the front garden (the dogs have no access to the front garden).
I spotted the visitor a couple of days after the half eaten guinea pig episode. It appeared from the bushes when I opened the front door. A white, black and tan specimen that clearly was used to humans bringing breakfast. I rang Anne Mary immediately.
“What do guinea pigs eat?”
“Cauliflower, carrots, greens.”
This little fellow feasted on the fruits of our veg basket.
The next day he was there again.
“Can we keep him Danny?”
“No, we have too many pets. Perhaps we can locate the owner.”
I tried banging on doors. No one had lost a guinea pig. The next morning I warned the spotted creature of the dangers of wandering into the back garden. It stood quite still on small chez longe legs, small eyes meeting mine before it dragged the cauliflower head into the darkness of the brambles.
A week or so later, when the guinea pig and I were on first name terms, Danny and I passed a house with a smart hutch in the garden. The door hung open, inviting any GP with wings to fly up and roost.
“There you are, they must have come from this garden.” D pressed the doorbell.
“We’ve got a small guinea pig, living in our front garden and wondered if it belonged to you.”
“I’ve lost two! They belong to my daughter.”
“Well we just have the one.” Better not to mention the other.
She reached for a butterfly net, “I can catch him with this.”
The spotted guest didn’t appear for breakfast the next day so I stopped feeding him, imagining that he had been swept up in the net. I met the lady a month later.
“Did you have any luck with the butterfly net?”
“No. I returned several times without success. But yesterday morning, I looked up from my desk and spotted him sitting under the hutch in our garden!”
The prodigal guinea pig had returned.
Back at the cottage, my sister arrived with a present for the Min Pins. They unwrapped it with hunters’ glee. No messing with ribbons, just ripped the wrapping apart.
They attached themselves as one to this present. I beat them back to examine the trophy. It was a guinea pig toy, with a squeak. We christened him Snack. It seemed fitting in a ghastly sort of way
Snack is tossed aloft constantly. He still has a squeak, despite being abandoned in the garden on several cold nights. A living memorial to an afternoon of Min Pin foodie heaven. Inca loves this toy. She arrived well after the historic event.
Clearly late at night she has been told the tale.
Recipe for chicken, mushroom and tomato risotto
Thank you for your comments. And a bit of silly bath time fun with the Frothing Sea Monster trick!
Cutting energy costs
Recipe for sausages baked with herby garlic infused beans, bacon and tomato
Tracing some of my ancestors has taken me on a long journey
Recipe for lamb shanks braised in red wine with shallots: slow cooker/crockpot
HG
Oh dear, oh dear! I’m just praying that Mildred doesn’t log on today. Maybe someone should warn her.
Oh poor piggie! Next to dogs they’re the bestest pets ever. I used to have some, and when one escaped from the run one of the dals retrieved him for me – unfortunately the piggie didn’t survive the mental trauma.
Too late Sally . . . . . I am disgusted frankly. I really don’t think we need to read the specific details of how someones much loved pet met its end.
Your tale reminds me of the Sunday my cat Rosie arrived at the cat flap around 1:30 with a roast leg of lamb which he dragged into the kitchen with much crashing and banging of the flap. It was still hot and several slices had been taken from it.I did not have the courage to walk along the shared footpath that ran behind the row of cottages asking if anyone had lost their Sunday lunch….
I guess I shouldn’t mention that they taste a lot like rabbit…Peruvians eat quite a lot of them, actually.
This made me want to get a couple of guinea pigs. Even looked up on the net how to look after them, noted that they shouldn’t be left to roam free as they can and do explore/escape. Perhaps chickens first, the thought of fresh eggs…
Hi Sally
Thanks for the belated warning.
Hi Jan
Yes, I think that guinea pigs are great too. We had a pet one when I was a child, called Farthing. Watching them in the pet shop they seem to like hanging about in groups so I wonder whether Farthing was lonely.
Shame about your escapee.
Hi Mildred
I’m so sorry that you are offended by this article. I had no intention of upsetting you.
Hi Kate(uk)
What did you do with the leg of lamb?
I have a friend whose cat does this on a regular basis.
Hi Hank
I didn’t know that they tasted like rabbit.
Hi Amanda
They are very pretty creatures and make great pets. I think that you’d love keeping chickens.
I washed it, took off the meat and let the cat have it, then hid the evidence very carefully, at dead of night, in the bin under other rubbish.
Hi Kate(uk)
I bet the cook never let a warm joint sit by an open window again!
“Contessa barking with delight from a pretty yellow silk button backed chair. Peeping out from a pile of cushions beside her was a tan shorthaired guinea pig with very bright black eyes.”
This is why we don’t have a flap in the door for the Min Pins; they have to eat the fruits of their hunting outdoors!
I just want to say how disgusted I am at your total disrespect for the poor guinea pig that died. No sign of you feeling sorry for the guinea pig, even making a jokes about it. Calling the dogs guinea pig toy ‘snack’ and ‘they could smell live guinea pig but they couldn’t locate the mobile dish’ is quite frankly, sick! You should be ashamed of yourself!
Hi Sarah
Min Pin hunters can cause havock. Ours always want to bring their kills indoors like cats. We are not so happy about this habit.
Hi Jackie
I must apologise if this post offended you.
I was upset to see the guinea pig had been killed by our dogs. Similarly I don’t like seeing the foxes and badgers dead on the motorway hard shoulder. Living in the country, every day we are surrounded by instances of premature death. Cats killing fledglings, dogs killing moles, cars killing birds and game and rabbits and sometimes even people.
Our chickens are also mobile dishes. Similarly anything that strays into the garden on ground level, whether it be a frog, toad, rabbit or rat.
Black humour is prevalent in the country. I am sorry if this post upset you.
Five years ago 2 Rottweiller dogs scrambled over the fence at the end of our garden. Within seconds they grabbed our 12 year old Jack Russel. They ripped her to bits in front of me. We couldn’t do a thing to stop them – despite my 6ft 3 husband doing everything he could – our pet died a horrid, painful death. The memory will never, ever leave me. A matter of weeks after the incident the same dogs attacked a small child, while on their leads, in the street. she received deep cuts to her arm. The dogs were destroyed.
Two vile tales of dogs not kept under control. A memory I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
I was disgusted to read your tale. It doesn’t matter whether it is a Jack Russel or a Guinea Pig or a child, there is no entertainment value in relating stories like this. Nature can be cruel but you have made a misjudgement if you feel “black humour” is suitable justification.
Hello Careen
I apologise for offending you. Point taken.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Death is a fact of life when you have pets, weather it is your pet who is a victim, or your pet who is victimized.
You need to remember, the owners of the guinea pigs should have been more careful making sure they didn’t get out. (I know, blame the victim, whatever!) If your read the entry, they were the tresspassers in this tale, the min pins weren’t out roaming.
It was a sad thing to happen, but I can completely understand the black humor, its a defence mechanism. Am I horrified every time my cats bring in a mouse, shrew or snake? Of course, (especally when I step on them with a bare foot!) Am I horrified when my dogs kill a mole or chase a neighbor cat out of my yard? Of course. But these are ANIMALS. No matter what veneer of domestication you want to cover them with, they have instincts, the most dominant one is to hunt. Cats and dogs are predators at heart and soul, you can train them to a fare-thee-well, but when a small darting target presents itself, you can’t blame a dog for responding to its instincts. They didn’t know it was someones pet.
And before someone rails at me, I have been the happy owner of (at various times) 22 guinea pigs, more dogs than I can mention, even more cats than I can mention, ducks, oppossums, fish, and a turtle. And not all of them have died of old age.
Things happen, its part of this odd situation we all find ourselves in called life. Thank you Fiona for sharing yours with me.
Michelle, yes, the guinea pigs owner was very careless and yes, it wasn’t the dogs fault that he followed his instint and attacked the guinea pig. What really offends me is the total lack of respect for the poor guinea pig, including the so called ‘black humour’. There is no place for it in these circumstances, no excuse for it neither! It is ‘sick humour’ end of.
Hi Michelle
Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment.
Hi Jackie
Thanks for leaving your response.
To Michelle Sheets: ‘Very well put indeed’.
To Fiona, ‘I understand why you had to make light of this horrible situation and didn’t for a second read it as sick humour, but rather as a survival instinct of your own’.
To Mildred: ‘Please, please come back, we miss you’.
Hi Sally
Thanks for your input. Much appreciated.
wow!!!! ok i apologise now, but sh#t happens, my cat once skinned my hamster, i was devestated but its animal nature, and i agree with the humour, its sometimes a way of coping with death, bet the upset writers are meat eaters ????
Hi Kate
Thanks for leaving a comment.
How terrible that your cat skinned your hamster, it must have been such a shock.
Our old dog Fly caught our hamster but we managed to retrieve him and he lived until he made the final great escape and disappeared upstairs never to be seen again.
it was horrific, my son still thinks the hamster just ran away, but as you have all said b4, its animal nature as cruel as it is
Hi Kate
Best that your son never knows.
hello, i have guinea pigs and cats…though my cats live with my parents. Which creates harmony for everyone lol.
But the point is, having cats you get used to them bringing in, dead, half dead, alive animals of all different sorts. And it’s a horrible thing, but it is natural. And i agree that the guinea pig owners were responsible for them, i would never dream letting my guinea pigs out in the wild. Coz ya know…there’s so many predators out there, and if that doesn’t get them…then the wheather does.
But at least now the dogs have something better to chew on lol. Also to stop them bringing things in, and hunting living things, might be worthwhile putting some chicken wire along the garden fences. It doesn’t need to be tall, a short one will do, so that small animals like cats/small dogs/guinea pigs and rodents will be put off. Therefore saving many lives
xxx
LOL, funny. half a pig. you all find it disgusting but its actually pretty funny. there’s no difference to your dog eating a chicken leg you’ve given him, except he’s found this particular chicken leg himself. Guinea pigs are cute.
this one got 0wn3d
Hello Cake Eater
Guinea pigs are cute, I agree.
Glad that you can see the black humour in this post.
its animal nature ;P what do you think happens to what we eat?
To think of any animal being in pain or being killed fuels me, how anyone can think its funny or make jokes just shows that mentality of that person, I would lay my life on the line for any animal, I have several of my own, I would do time in prison for smashing someones head in for being cruel, the fact the guinea pig died that way is so sad, how dare anyone think its a joke, you sick ,,,,,,, I hope I dont ever come face to face with anyone who thinks its funny, every animal in this world deserves to be treated with love, respect and have the very best life you can give it,, I am so angry that some people have not given any thought as to what happened to that poor pig can you imagen the pain it went through.
I have to go now before I say something that wont be allowed.
Teresa, and anyone else who wrote in a similar vein – get a life. Yes we all like animals and it is human nature not to want animals, or people, to suffer. However, if you insist on anthropomorphising animals and expecting them to share your values, you will always be disappointed. Cats and dogs don’t see cute birds or mice or guinea pigs, they do see snacks. It is ANIMAL NATURE. Would you think it was so awful if the MinPins had a half-eaten rat instead of a guinea pig? Is it really any different to a pride of lions hunting down the baby or weak animals in the Savanah? Wild animals know they have to watch out for their young or they will get eaten. If humans are careless enough to allow domesticated animals to escape and the worst happens they only have themselves to blame. If my animal were to die like that I would be upset but I am more upset about animals dying of neglect and being kept in squalid conditions by their owners. So I just hope the GP had a nice adventure before meeting his untimely end.
I’m not a heartless person just realistic and whilst I agree it is sad for the GP, it is now just a story. I read this story at the time it was posted by Fiona and haven’t left a comment before but each time I read a comment saying how dreadful it was to say such things I became more and more annoyed so have finally decided to have my say. So if you have complained and you are not vegetarian, do you shed a tear for each piece of meat that ends up on your plate or do you tuck in without giving it a second thought? I eat both fish and meat, they are part of the food chain but if my dead body would keep someone alive after a plane crash then I would say go for it and live and don’t be sorry.
Well, I was obviously more rattled by this than I thought when I started writing.
I DONT EAT MEAT AT ALL NEVER HAVE, THIS PAGE IS FOR COMMENTS AND YOU GOT MINE AS I HAVE YOURS, YOU STARTED THE THREAD, TO SAY IT LOOKED LIKE IT HAD BEEN CHOPPED WITH AN AXE, WE DONT NEED TO HEAR THE SORDID DETAILS LIKE THAT, YOU DONT SEEN VERY UPSET, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHOOSE YOUR WORDS BETTER NEXT TIME.
Hello Teresa
Thanks for making a comment.
I have let both your comments through but the last one is all in capitals and to me this seems like shouting. There is no need to shout. If you write like everyone else we can still hear you.
Pamela did not write this post. I did. Some people were offended by it and some people were not.
Life in the heart of the country is not always going out in a bonnet at dawn to pick primroses. There is more death than life out in the sticks. Most of the sheep that we see gently grazing in the field will be killed in abattoirs. Similarly most of the cattle. Even the racehorses will provide bones for the local dogs and the meat will be exported to France to be eaten.
Life in the country is undercut by death. We also have a higher incidence of people killed on the roads. Less people per square mile means less funding for safety provisions. Black humour is prevalent as a consequence.
This guinea pig would have been killed in nanno seconds by the Min Pins. They are not like cats, they don’t tease and torment their prey. It did look as if it had been chopped with an axe. Why make this detail more acceptable? It was ghastly. If you start reading an article entitled “Guinea Pigs are Heaven to Eat”, what did you expect to read?
I stand by my article. Read it again and you will discover that I do like guinea pigs and looked after the one that was living in our front garden for weeks. I also blocked the entry into our garden so it would not meet a similar fate to its friend. Despite advertising the owner didn’t come forward to rescue it.
Hello Pamela
Thanks for making a comment.
I posted this article and was amazed by the varied responses. I also got personal hate and love mail for the first time ever.
I think that the post is valid and balanced so it has remained on the site. And it will never be removed.
@ Teresa Edwards:
>> I would do time in prison for smashing someones head in for being cruel,<<
seems you’ve got trouble understanding humour and suffer from double standards to me!
I’m with you and Pamela, Fiona. It’s quite clear from your post that you love animals, but bad stuff happens in life — and what happened to the guinea pig was really the fault of its human owners. I thought your black humour was quite appropriate in the circumstances!
Everyone who posts here have the right to air their feelings including myself, I also live in the country I also know animals get killed sadly its its the way of life but what I am saying the words to describe the way this pig lost its little life was not put down in the best words, it would be very sad to see children find this post and read that, ok a coin is a coin but being tactful about things dont take much.
You will probably find others that come on here in time will think the same.
I would not use the words to describe what happened. I actually cried after reading what happened if I did not have feelings it would not have hurt, I guess people handle things in different ways but I personally thought it was a hertless to way to describe what happened.
Its a good job we are all different this world be so boring if we were all the same.
Pamela, Steve, and Veronica,
Well said.
Fiona,
You’re my hero.
Teresa, you are, of course, entitled to your opinion and to feel as strongly as you do. But so am I. I also don’t see why those people who think Fiona was wrong to post this graphic tale should be the only ones to take umbrage. However, I had a hard time reconciling your revulsion to the way Fiona had described the scene with your claim that you would smash peoples’ heads in to protect animals. For me there was a hint of double standards. I would protect animals in danger if I could, but not to the point of going to prison for it. Animals act totally on instinct. Humans are supposed to be able to apply reason to situations, so actually smashing someone’s head in as opposed to just wanting very badly to do that, suggests to me the actions of a person who is poorly adapted to living in our society. I’m prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt (as I have no idea who you are) and believe that in spite of the vehemance of your statement, you probably wouldn’t actually do that. We don’t like the idea of our domestic animals behaving like killers, but the reality is that they are just that. We keep them well fed to reduce the need to hunt and would intervene if we arrived on the scene before the kill, but beyond that, they are what they are. If you had come across this description in a novel you were reading, would you have bothered to write to the author? Or more likely (certainly speaking for myself) would you just have closed the book and not read any more? Sometimes the immediacy of computers leads us to write with more emotion than we would otherwise allow ourselves to show if we had to go and find pen and paper and get round to actually addressing an envelope then posting the thing. Perhaps if I had gone away for a while and re-read my comment before posting it I might have modified how I made my points, but I don’t take any of it back now it is said.
Well said Pamela. Those who are mortally offended should probably remember that it isnt compulsary to read on if you dont like what you are reading. It is perfectly acceptable to move to another area of the internet.
Personally I am just grateful there wasnt a recipe Fiona!!!
well said pamela, both your posts.
Sad, but true, many pets are savage killers, at least the min pins enjoy their mobile meals – unlike my cat who torments things for hours, before abandoning the body untouched. Yes he has a bell, yes he is neutered and well-fed. These animals kills because they enjoy it, because it is instinct instilled in them for survival and unable to be bred out by us.
There are so many worse examples of animal creulty in the world, so many abandoned creatures, over-worked donkies etc, that i think it pretty silly to get upset over a sad, slightly tongue in cheek affectionate post has received so much bile.
I think it is a post that reflects the realities of life for many pet owners, fiona, and well-done for writing it in such an eloquent and touching way.
There’s nothing remotely cute about the brutal death of someone’s guinea pig by your revolting dog. How would you feel if you found him cut in half by a fox??
wow!!!
That opened a can of worms… I have read all comments made and there is some people out there who need to get a grip of reality….
I love my pets and therefor I make sure they’re not getting into harms way.
Making animals all vegetarian would kill them.
I thought it was a good tale to tell and hopefully people look after their pets after reading it.
Lena
Hi Lena
Yes this post caused a lot of ructions.
I love guinea pigs, all animals in fact but I could see the black humour in your tale. I think the title of your article clearly indicated what it was about so quite frankly people you should have been prepared for it, if not it become apparent pretty quickly so for goodness sake get off your soap box and read something else instead.
I know this debate took place a rather long time ago, but I only read it yesterday after having followed your link. While I don’t like the idea of any animal suffering, what really bothers me are all these people, not only your comment writers, but people generally who become extremely upset over the fate of one specific animal, whereas the daily serious suffering of millions of farm animals, broiler chickens, turkeys or horses being transported for days without water or feed through Europe does not really generate nearly the same level of outrage or feelings of being upset. I would seriously recommend to people to support CIWF – compassion in world farming – or World Horse Welfare, they deal with and try to eliviate much worse suffering.
Apart from that, I hope you have a good time with your guests.
People get upset. Stupid people like Teresa irritate me to no end. The fact that you’d put an animal before a human makes me wonder about your mental health.