The Cottage Smallholder

stumbling self sufficiency in a small space

Picasso moments

Photo: Bull and unicorn

Photo: Bull and unicorn

I started to make wooden toys in my late twenties. I had never previously worked with wood but, with the arrogance of the inexperienced, I reckoned that it couldn’t be rocket science.

After a bit of a hiccupy start the business was reasonably successful. Ten years later I sold it to a giftware company for a very good price. That was just before the 1990 recession but that‘s another story.

As a toymaker I belonged to The British Toymakers Guild. Each year I exhibited at their fair. One year I bought two wooden toys made by a fellow artist turned toymaker. A beautiful cubist style bull and unicorn. These were adult toys but not destined for the bedroom.

They lived in my kitchen, on a shelf above the cooker. Beautiful objects that gave me great pleasure.

The first weekend that Danny came to stay at the cottage he was keen to make a good impression. He examined my eclectic collection of trifles. Eventually he picked up the bull and pronounced.
“This bull has a big arsehole.”

I was stunned. I had never looked under its tail. So I picked up the small wooden beast and examined him carefully. Beneath the tail were just a couple of purple blue abstract legs and shanks.

Photo: Bull and unicorn rear view

Photo: Bull and unicorn rear view

“It has no arsehole. What exactly do you mean?”

“No”, exclaimed Danny.
“I said ‘this bull is a Picasso’.”

Living with a southern Irishman, I often mishear what he is saying and vice versa. Generally we replay the tape in our heads and double check if the comments seem too outrageous.

With relief we have christened these events “Picasso moments”.

But the unchecked comments can often add unforseen interest and spice to the relationship.

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  1. Fiona Nevile

    Hi Amanda

    The picasso moments usually make us giggle too 😉

    Hi Pamela

    Socks, sox, sex so easy to mishear! I love Malapropisms. I find that a hottie means that I need no socks.

    Hello nà

    Thanks for dropping by.

    Hello Heidi

    I do hope that this week is better than last. Glad that you enjoyed the post.

    Hi Veronica

    I smile each time that I look at the little bull on the shelf…

    Hello Moonroot

    We roared with laughter over this. Thank you.

    Hi Linda

    Yes it’s a beautifull accent when it’s calm!

    Hello Kate(uk)

    I was tickled by this! What did you imagine – tours for sausage lovers?

    Hi Casalba

    This takes the ticket! Wonderful. I can just imagine his face.

    And your home. Ukranian and Welsh is such an unusual combination. Guaranteed to make your horizons very broad.

    Hi ICQB

    Great that you enjoyed the post. Maybe one day I’ll post some pictures of my toys.

    I enjoyed your comment, Kethry. Can just imagine the scene and the cranking of an eye open.

    Hello KarenO

    Danny goes to bed much earlier than me so there’s lots of fumbling in the dark!

  2. KarenO LOL.. this happens to me too.

    Im a wee bit deaf & my OH is a terrible mumbler, with kids, music & tv thrown into the mix I often cant understand anything he says. For some reason he finds it frustrating. LOL.

  3. Oh that was a lovely story Fiona – I had to interrupt hubby from his reading to read it to him. I’m more inclined to open my mouth and put my foot in it – Our son & his girlfriend were amused when the other night I told hubby I was off to bed & if he didn’t come soon he’d have to fumble in the dark! I quickly added “for your pyjamas” but I think it was too late.

  4. errrrr frank open? i meant crank open. ‘onest i did..

  5. yep we have them too, although ours is mostly because of my deafness and his dutch accent… sometimes though i say the wrong thing.. once i was talking to mom and meant to say “contraption”.. ended up saying “contraception”. 😀 sometimes he says the wrong thing – he gets “woe” and “woo” mixed up, and now, whenever he wants to say “woe is me”, he’ll put a hand to his forehead, all overdramatic, eyes closed, then frank open an eye to look at me to check which one it is. which i supply. and we laugh.

    i like this. piccasso moments indeed!!!


  6. Oh, and I meant to say that you should post a picture of some of your toys. I’m sure many of us would love to see them.

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